6 months, 6 reflections

I thought that rather than guide you through the intricacies of a week in the office with its accounting and administrative highs and lows (no joking, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster in the office what with…), I’d break off and give you 6 reflections to mark my passing 6 months in Uganda:

1. Language things here are generally fantastic. I still think it’s ridiculous that I can travel so far and still interact and chat with almost everyone I come into contact with. However, there are always a few unexpected problems. For example, one comes from “It’s okay” (as in “Would you like a soda?” – “It’s okay”) which here means yes. This problem is exacerbated by “It’s okay” being a common and catchy thing to say so there’s this urge to use it. People here are outrageously good at languages; most think nothing of the fact that they can talk 5 different languages completely fluently. Entertainingly, speakers will sometimes move to the language the translator is using if it expresses an idea better and the translator will move seamlessly to mirror the move. The local equivalent of Paul is Paulo. However, introducing myself as ‘Paulo’ always fails due to my accent being “very heavy” which leads to me reverting to ‘Paul’ and them then saying ‘Paulo’ at which I say then again say ‘Paulo’. They still fail to see the connection between the two words. Trying to make a joke about it sounding Italian does not work even if serious time is committed to a detailed, geographical explanation.

2. Ugandan money is funny. Firstly, it’s fantastically colourful with a great mix of gold, red, purple, green, blue and yellow. It’s like having a rainbow in your wallet. Then there is the scandalous number of zeros at the end of things to keep you on your toes, but I’ve slowly gotten used to spending TWO THOUSAND shillings on a coke. Still, things do get confusing cause sometimes you’re comparing how much a UK equivalent costs and sometimes how much a Ugandan equivalent costs. To keep things grounded, I use the helpful metric of chapattis (= 500 shillings). No matter how tasty or posh a meal is, it surely can’t ever be better than 40 chapattis? I used to use pineapples (which have a more constant marginal utility) but there were large seasonal price fluctuations which made it tricky.

3. People here have an inexhaustible love of giving speeches. Some of this comes from spontaneous love and enthusiasm, some from the fact that there are unspoken rules about every event (guests of honour must always be introduced and allowed to address everyone, even at a party), and some from a love of talking for the sake of talking (something I obviously know nothing about). One speech can contain several topics loosely related (or unapologetically unrelated). Thankfully, people here have phenomenal reserves of patience that help them deal with this and also with unfathomably long waits in a taxi waiting for one more person to join the next piece of the journey. If there were some way to monetarise this skill, people here would be loaded.

4. The difference between the dry and wet season is as stark as the names suggest and there’s no little medley of previous seasons within each season that England offers. People here have a hilariously small bracket of acceptable temperatures. A day can often begin too cold and then quickly become too hot. Coats and jumpers are donned to deal with the first and then fans used to combat the second. The dry season is very very dusty (as well as being dry) which is wonderful when combined with the seasonal sweatiness. The road I walk to work has about 1cm of dust (it does! Well, at least at the edges… It’s like snow but less exciting and less enjoyable) on which would mean that I arrived pleasantly bathed in sand were it not for the lorry that has usually gotten stuck blocking the road and meaning no major traffic uses the road that day.

5. Being smartly dressed is always good. Being in town without a shirt on is almost sacrilegious. There’s not really a “I’ve just taken a break from some manual job to buy something quickly” excuse; you’re supposed to bathe, change into a shirt (plus a belt and ideally a tie) and then pick the thing before changing back again. Similarly cleanliness can be found in the most unexpected places. You can get around town on a motorbike taxi for 12.5p if you’re feeling particularly aggressive in your negotiating, yet these bikes will almost always be spotlessly clean. Even if the outside of a house is filthy, you can be sure the inside will be well swept and neatly presented. Basically, if something is privately owned, it’ll be tidy and clean; if it’s a public space or road, you won’t be so lucky.

6. Ugandan food has some wonderful highlights (cooking things with charcoal is often amazingly tasty). Food at most places is ideal and special function food is fantastic. Basically you get a bit of all the good stuff which makes all of them better. However, it does also have some problems. Most things typically contain oil. It’s often sneakily snuck into things you thought might have been healthy like cabbage, beans, rice… anything, it’s got oil in it. Also, bread here is not great. Memories of Sainsburys Basics bread are now very precious to me.